1 00:00:02,256 --> 00:00:05,919 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 2 00:00:05,993 --> 00:00:09,190 ♪ In living color♪ 3 00:00:09,263 --> 00:00:11,823 - ♪ In living color♪ - ♪ You know what I'm sayin'♪ 4 00:00:11,899 --> 00:00:14,493 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 5 00:00:14,569 --> 00:00:16,560 ♪ In living color♪ 6 00:00:19,273 --> 00:00:21,332 ♪ In living color♪ 7 00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:23,639 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 8 00:00:23,711 --> 00:00:26,111 ♪ It's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 9 00:00:26,180 --> 00:00:28,171 ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪ 10 00:00:28,249 --> 00:00:30,217 ♪ In living color♪ 11 00:00:30,284 --> 00:00:32,912 ♪ How would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 12 00:00:32,987 --> 00:00:35,217 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 13 00:00:35,289 --> 00:00:37,382 ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ 14 00:00:37,458 --> 00:00:41,451 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 15 00:00:41,529 --> 00:00:44,157 ♪ In living color♪ 16 00:00:44,231 --> 00:00:45,664 ♪ In living color♪ 17 00:00:45,733 --> 00:00:49,169 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 18 00:00:49,236 --> 00:00:51,500 ♪ In living color♪ 19 00:00:51,572 --> 00:00:54,040 ♪ In living color♪ 20 00:00:54,108 --> 00:00:56,508 ♪ Everybody here is equally kind ♪ 21 00:00:56,577 --> 00:00:58,807 ♪ In living color♪ 22 00:00:58,879 --> 00:01:01,507 ♪ What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine ♪ 23 00:01:01,582 --> 00:01:03,015 ♪ In living color♪ 24 00:01:03,084 --> 00:01:05,052 ♪ How would you feel knowing everybody was your friend ♪ 25 00:01:05,119 --> 00:01:07,679 ♪ From thin to thick and through thick and thin ♪ 26 00:01:07,755 --> 00:01:10,747 ♪ And egotistical trips was put to an end ♪ 27 00:01:10,825 --> 00:01:13,817 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 28 00:01:13,894 --> 00:01:16,522 ♪ In living color♪ 29 00:01:16,597 --> 00:01:18,497 ♪ In living color♪ 30 00:01:18,566 --> 00:01:20,659 ♪ You can walk on the moon Float like a balloon ♪ 31 00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:22,703 ♪ It's never too late and it's never too soon ♪ 32 00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:25,102 ♪ Take it from me It's a'ight to be ♪ 33 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,799 ♪ In living color♪ 34 00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:29,069 ♪ How would you feel knowing prejudice was obsolete ♪ 35 00:01:29,143 --> 00:01:31,202 ♪ And all mankind danced to the exact beat ♪ 36 00:01:31,278 --> 00:01:34,577 ♪ And at night it was safe to walk down the street ♪ 37 00:01:34,649 --> 00:01:38,551 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 38 00:01:38,619 --> 00:01:40,314 ♪ In living color♪♪ 39 00:01:40,388 --> 00:01:43,551 Ladies and gentlemen, Keenen Ivory Wayans. 40 00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:46,650 [Applause, Cheering] 41 00:01:46,727 --> 00:01:49,457 [Audience Whooping] 42 00:01:52,366 --> 00:01:54,630 Thank you. 43 00:01:58,839 --> 00:02:02,206 Thank you. All right. Thank you. 44 00:02:02,276 --> 00:02:04,801 I'm Keenen Ivory Wayans and welcome to In Living Color. 45 00:02:04,879 --> 00:02:07,006 We've been having a lot of fun here the past few weeks. 46 00:02:07,081 --> 00:02:09,379 So, you know, I've been getting, like, a lot of letters... 47 00:02:09,450 --> 00:02:11,918 people asking me what I like most about doing the show. 48 00:02:11,986 --> 00:02:13,920 And I guess it's working with my family. 49 00:02:13,988 --> 00:02:17,754 And I'd like to start by introducing my baby brother and my D. J... 50 00:02:17,825 --> 00:02:21,454 - S.W. One. - [Applause] 51 00:02:28,502 --> 00:02:30,436 What you doin' with my shoes on, man? 52 00:02:30,504 --> 00:02:32,369 These ain't yours. 53 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,567 I'm gonna wear those. Take them off, man. Give me my shoes. 54 00:02:34,642 --> 00:02:37,042 - Oh, come on, man. These ain't yours. - Gimme my shoes. 55 00:02:41,582 --> 00:02:43,516 How you gonna do this to me, man, on TV? 56 00:02:43,584 --> 00:02:46,109 Why you go in my closet? 57 00:02:46,187 --> 00:02:49,281 All right. Now I want to introduce my Fly Girls, starting over here... 58 00:02:49,356 --> 00:02:53,122 with Cari, Deidre, Michelle... 59 00:02:53,194 --> 00:02:55,719 Lisa and Carrie Ann. 60 00:02:57,064 --> 00:02:58,998 Yeah. 61 00:03:00,534 --> 00:03:03,526 - All right. We about to get things rolling... - Keenen. 62 00:03:05,106 --> 00:03:07,040 It ain't funny, man. Gimme my shirt. 63 00:03:07,108 --> 00:03:10,202 Come on, man. You said I could wear it yesterday. 64 00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:12,837 Give him the shirt, man. 65 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:18,479 [Cheering, Applause] 66 00:03:27,661 --> 00:03:31,495 [S. W. One, Indistinct] 67 00:03:31,565 --> 00:03:33,499 Chill out before I take my chest back. 68 00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:36,001 We'll be in a minute. Let's go. 69 00:03:37,138 --> 00:03:41,006 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 70 00:03:41,075 --> 00:03:44,169 ♪ In living color♪ 71 00:03:44,245 --> 00:03:46,805 ♪ In living color♪ 72 00:03:48,482 --> 00:03:52,179 [Man] On FOX this fall, a principal breathes new life... 73 00:03:52,253 --> 00:03:55,882 into a failing beauty school in the uplifting miniseries Lean On Me, Beautiful. 74 00:03:58,292 --> 00:04:00,590 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! 75 00:04:00,661 --> 00:04:02,788 My name is Joe Clark. 76 00:04:02,863 --> 00:04:05,457 I am your new principal. 77 00:04:05,533 --> 00:04:08,093 Now, when I point to you, I want you to line up. 78 00:04:08,169 --> 00:04:13,072 You, you, you and you and you, line up now. 79 00:04:15,276 --> 00:04:17,335 Expeditiously. 80 00:04:19,013 --> 00:04:21,573 Now, I want all of you to take a good look at them. 81 00:04:21,649 --> 00:04:24,117 Take a good look at these mutants. 82 00:04:25,286 --> 00:04:28,050 These are the ugliest kids in the class. 83 00:04:28,122 --> 00:04:30,056 They have no place here. 84 00:04:30,124 --> 00:04:32,991 I want you all to go home to your ugly parents right now. 85 00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:34,994 Get on outta here. 86 00:04:35,062 --> 00:04:36,996 Hurry up! Move on! 87 00:04:37,064 --> 00:04:38,998 You too, buzzard! 88 00:04:39,066 --> 00:04:43,059 This is an outrage! You can't talk to my students this way! 89 00:04:43,137 --> 00:04:45,697 I'm going to the school superintendent. 90 00:04:45,773 --> 00:04:48,970 Well, go on then. And let the door hit you in the big putty butt. 91 00:04:49,043 --> 00:04:50,977 Why, I never! 92 00:04:51,045 --> 00:04:54,173 I bet you have not. 93 00:04:54,248 --> 00:04:57,240 Now, do you know what they say about you out there? Huh? 94 00:04:57,318 --> 00:04:59,548 Grease head, do you know what they say about you? 95 00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:03,078 They say that the reason you're in a beauty school... 96 00:05:03,157 --> 00:05:06,388 is because you're too stupid to go to a regular school. 97 00:05:06,460 --> 00:05:08,394 I happen to think they're right. 98 00:05:08,462 --> 00:05:12,364 But when I'm through with you, you'll be the smartest dumb people out there. 99 00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:15,266 - What do you want, ugly? - I don't wanna go! 100 00:05:15,336 --> 00:05:17,736 [Sobbing] 101 00:05:17,805 --> 00:05:19,739 Come with me, boy. 102 00:05:19,807 --> 00:05:22,435 - Come here! - [Continues Sobbing] 103 00:05:22,509 --> 00:05:26,070 Now, what makes you think you can be a beautician? Huh? 104 00:05:26,146 --> 00:05:28,842 - What makes you think you can give beauty tips? - [Stammering] 105 00:05:28,916 --> 00:05:32,511 Look at yourself. You're ugly, boy. Is your parents ugly? 106 00:05:32,586 --> 00:05:35,020 - Yeah. - You're gonna grow up to look just like 'em. 107 00:05:35,089 --> 00:05:38,422 If you got ugly parents, you might as well just jump out the window. 108 00:05:38,492 --> 00:05:40,585 - Do you use chemicals in your hair? - No. 109 00:05:40,661 --> 00:05:42,788 - Do you use chemicals in your hair? - Yeah. 110 00:05:42,863 --> 00:05:44,797 Now you got a bad perm and you're ugly. 111 00:05:44,865 --> 00:05:46,924 The world don't need another ugly boy with a bad perm. 112 00:05:47,001 --> 00:05:49,834 - Just go on and jump, son. - Okay. 113 00:05:52,339 --> 00:05:54,603 Now, what are you all looking at? Huh? 114 00:05:54,675 --> 00:05:56,905 - Let me hear the school song. - Uh-uh-uh-uh... 115 00:05:56,977 --> 00:05:58,911 Let me hear the school song now. 116 00:05:58,979 --> 00:06:00,913 We don't have a school song. 117 00:06:00,981 --> 00:06:02,915 - You don't have one? - N-N-No. 118 00:06:02,983 --> 00:06:05,474 - Then make one up. - Uh-uh-uh... 119 00:06:05,552 --> 00:06:09,784 ♪ Fair Wilford Beauty Acad... ♪ 120 00:06:09,857 --> 00:06:11,950 You can do better than that. 121 00:06:12,026 --> 00:06:15,587 ♪ I said Wilford Beauty Academy ♪ 122 00:06:15,663 --> 00:06:19,895 - ♪ Wilford Beauty Academy ♪ - ♪ I gotta mean ♪ 123 00:06:19,967 --> 00:06:22,697 ♪ Yes, indeed I'm doin' hair ♪ 124 00:06:22,770 --> 00:06:26,763 ♪ Sit in my chair I'm doin' curls for little girls ♪♪ 125 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:29,274 Mr. Clark... 126 00:06:29,343 --> 00:06:32,801 I think it is a disgrace what you have done to those children. 127 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,610 I can see why they call you "CrazyJoe." 128 00:06:35,683 --> 00:06:40,211 - You are an egotist and a demagogue. - Excuse me, children. 129 00:06:40,287 --> 00:06:43,222 - May I talk to you outside for a moment? - Follow me. 130 00:06:43,290 --> 00:06:45,224 Carry on. 131 00:06:45,292 --> 00:06:47,760 - Now, how dare you take those children... - Don't you ever... 132 00:06:47,828 --> 00:06:50,262 [Clark Continues Yelling, Indistinct] 133 00:06:54,435 --> 00:06:57,700 She used to call me "CrazyJoe," now she just calls me "Bat Man." 134 00:06:57,771 --> 00:07:00,831 I want this place cleaned up right now! 135 00:07:00,908 --> 00:07:03,968 [Yelling, Indistinct] 136 00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:08,674 No, Joe! Joe, no, Joe! There's been a mistake! 137 00:07:08,749 --> 00:07:11,513 You weren't supposed to come to Wilford Beauty School. 138 00:07:11,585 --> 00:07:15,885 You were supposed to come to Wilford Central High School. 139 00:07:15,956 --> 00:07:18,220 You'll have to go, Joe. 140 00:07:19,593 --> 00:07:22,221 But I got so much more to break up. 141 00:07:22,296 --> 00:07:24,355 I don't make the rules. 142 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:29,001 Well, I'm sorry, children. 143 00:07:29,069 --> 00:07:32,129 I'll no longer be your principal. I've been reassigned. 144 00:07:32,206 --> 00:07:34,640 Don't go, Mr. Clark. We need you! 145 00:07:34,708 --> 00:07:36,835 We love you, Mr. Clark! 146 00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:38,878 Yeah, Joe, don't go! 147 00:07:38,946 --> 00:07:42,279 I mean, who's gonna give me that extra push I need? 148 00:07:44,651 --> 00:07:47,279 - Boy, you children really are stupid. - [Chuckles] 149 00:07:47,354 --> 00:07:49,515 Well, maybe I should stick around. 150 00:07:49,590 --> 00:07:51,524 Looks like they're gonna need somebody to lean on. 151 00:07:51,592 --> 00:07:53,492 - Yea! - [Man] All righty then. 152 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,188 ♪♪ [Singing] 153 00:08:05,439 --> 00:08:10,035 Lean On Me, Beautiful: TheJoe Clark Story, Part II, only on FOX. 154 00:08:16,150 --> 00:08:18,345 I found true love and happiness. 155 00:08:18,419 --> 00:08:21,149 And I found the guy of my dreams. 156 00:08:21,221 --> 00:08:24,918 And you, too, can enjoy interracial splendor... 157 00:08:24,992 --> 00:08:27,654 [Together] On the Mitzvah Train. 158 00:08:27,728 --> 00:08:30,196 So why not climb aboard the Mitzvah Train... 159 00:08:30,264 --> 00:08:34,860 the city's premiere Afro-Judeo video dating service. 160 00:08:34,935 --> 00:08:40,237 Bridge some of those cultural gaps while doin' the wild thing. 161 00:08:40,307 --> 00:08:42,867 You'll find you have a lot more in common than you thought... 162 00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:46,970 slavery, hard-to-manage hair, Sammy Davis Jr. 163 00:08:47,047 --> 00:08:50,881 Hey, maybe your grandfather was your date's slumlord. 164 00:08:50,951 --> 00:08:54,387 - Mine was. - So why not give it a try? 165 00:08:54,455 --> 00:08:58,482 That's right. I didn't know a matzo ball from a basketball... 166 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:00,789 till I met Mitzi. 167 00:09:00,861 --> 00:09:02,852 Ahmad taught me the Roger Rabbit dance... 168 00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:06,866 and I was even able to try it out at a Kool Moe Dee concert. 169 00:09:06,934 --> 00:09:12,099 I love my Yiddish mama so much, I've had myself circumcised... 170 00:09:12,172 --> 00:09:14,470 twice. 171 00:09:14,541 --> 00:09:17,567 And I'm thinking about going back for another cut. 172 00:09:21,482 --> 00:09:23,746 So come on down to Mitzvah Train. 173 00:09:23,817 --> 00:09:27,275 And remember, we're not only the owners of the Mitzvah Train... 174 00:09:27,354 --> 00:09:30,187 [Together] But we're also clients. 175 00:09:37,831 --> 00:09:42,063 You are strong. You are beautiful. You are perfect. 176 00:09:42,136 --> 00:09:46,266 Welcome to the show for, by and about women... 177 00:09:46,340 --> 00:09:48,774 Go On, Girl.! 178 00:09:54,281 --> 00:09:56,613 I'm your host Shawanda Harvey. 179 00:09:56,683 --> 00:10:00,278 Many of you have read my book Eve Stands Alone. 180 00:10:00,354 --> 00:10:03,585 In this book, I try to encourage women to be strong... 181 00:10:03,657 --> 00:10:07,559 independent and unencumbered by the fetters of a man's world. 182 00:10:07,628 --> 00:10:12,361 Today, my guests are two women that say that my book has changed their lives. 183 00:10:12,432 --> 00:10:16,698 Let's welcome, from the New City Dance Ensemble, Keyana. 184 00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:20,399 - [All] Go on, girl! Go on, girl! - All right. 185 00:10:20,474 --> 00:10:25,377 All right. And prominent artist Lavonia Bufume. 186 00:10:25,445 --> 00:10:28,812 - [All] Go on, girl.! - All right. 187 00:10:28,882 --> 00:10:34,218 Keyana, you are strong. You are beautiful. You are perfect. 188 00:10:34,288 --> 00:10:36,586 - Yes, I am! - Yes, you are! 189 00:10:36,657 --> 00:10:38,716 How has my book changed your life? 190 00:10:38,792 --> 00:10:40,384 - Shawanda... - Mm-hmm. 191 00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:42,860 - When I first became interested in dance... - Mm-hmm. 192 00:10:42,930 --> 00:10:45,364 - The male entity that I was dwelling with... - Mm-hmm. 193 00:10:45,432 --> 00:10:47,366 - He didn't support me. - Go on, girl. 194 00:10:47,434 --> 00:10:49,868 Girl, he tried to trivialize my womanly creativity. 195 00:10:49,937 --> 00:10:52,565 - No! Mm-mm-mm. - Yes, he did. 196 00:10:52,639 --> 00:10:54,607 But your book... your book showed me... 197 00:10:54,675 --> 00:10:58,873 that I did not need a man to validate me! 198 00:10:58,946 --> 00:11:01,437 - [All] Go on, girl! - All right. 199 00:11:01,515 --> 00:11:04,416 - [All Sigh] - I'm gone! 200 00:11:04,484 --> 00:11:07,851 Lavonia, you are strong. You are perfect. 201 00:11:07,921 --> 00:11:10,151 What about beautiful? 202 00:11:10,224 --> 00:11:12,749 Of course you're beautiful. Don't you have a similar story? 203 00:11:12,826 --> 00:11:14,760 - Oh, I most certainly do. Do you know... - Mm-hmm. 204 00:11:14,828 --> 00:11:16,762 - That when I wanted to take art lessons... - Mm-hmm. 205 00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:20,129 My significant other was too cheap to pay for them? 206 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,259 Typical, sister. Typical. 207 00:11:22,336 --> 00:11:26,534 Then he used to have this line he would say to me, " A woman is as sweet as honey... 208 00:11:26,607 --> 00:11:28,598 [Guests] as long as she don't want no money." 209 00:11:28,675 --> 00:11:32,008 Girl, my significant other used to say the same thing to me. 210 00:11:32,079 --> 00:11:34,604 Girl, go on. Then, he tried to make it up to me... 211 00:11:34,681 --> 00:11:37,514 by buying me this cheap, fake African necklace. 212 00:11:37,584 --> 00:11:40,212 You know, I used to have a necklace just like that. 213 00:11:40,287 --> 00:11:42,755 - No! But I showed him... - Yeah, girl. 214 00:11:42,823 --> 00:11:47,590 That he wasn't nearly as significant as he thought he was. 215 00:11:47,661 --> 00:11:51,893 - [All] Go on, girl. Go on! - That's right! 216 00:11:51,965 --> 00:11:53,990 - And now you're an up-and-coming artist... - That's right. 217 00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:56,535 - And you don't have to depend on a man. - That's right. 218 00:11:56,603 --> 00:11:59,197 - But, girl, you can't depend on a man. - I know you can't. 219 00:11:59,273 --> 00:12:01,207 - My man took art lessons. - Go on. 220 00:12:01,275 --> 00:12:03,573 - He came home with all these nude drawings. - Mm-hmm. 221 00:12:03,644 --> 00:12:06,442 Talk about he don't need no nude model to draw 'em. 222 00:12:06,513 --> 00:12:09,482 - Go on. Not to me. - Do I look like a fool to you? 223 00:12:09,549 --> 00:12:11,483 - Not my sister! - Girl! 224 00:12:11,551 --> 00:12:14,418 You talk about up and coming? 225 00:12:14,488 --> 00:12:18,015 I heard that. I can't trust my Umbatu as far as I can throw him. 226 00:12:18,091 --> 00:12:21,788 - Umbatu? That's my man's name. - Umbatu! 227 00:12:21,862 --> 00:12:24,854 Oh, sisters, sisters! No, no, no! 228 00:12:24,931 --> 00:12:27,092 I'm sure that's just a coincidence. 229 00:12:27,167 --> 00:12:30,295 Come to think of it, you even look like the girl in the pictures. 230 00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:32,531 Oh, now, sister, you know how art is. You can't ever tell. 231 00:12:32,606 --> 00:12:35,268 Art nothing. I recognize her big butt anywhere. 232 00:12:35,342 --> 00:12:37,833 Oh! Big butt, honey? At least I got one. 233 00:12:37,911 --> 00:12:40,175 - A man's gotta have something to hold on to. - Is that so? 234 00:12:40,247 --> 00:12:42,613 Sisters, remember, "Go on, girl." 235 00:12:42,683 --> 00:12:45,550 - You better go on! - Go on! 236 00:12:45,619 --> 00:12:47,587 - And speaking of something to hold on to... - Yes. 237 00:12:47,654 --> 00:12:50,418 He better not try holding on to that fake hair of yours. 238 00:12:50,490 --> 00:12:53,288 - Go on, girl. I mean, go on, girl. - Oh! 239 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,828 Oh, see now, you need to take your flat behind... 240 00:12:55,896 --> 00:12:58,729 no dancin', wanna be on Soul Train or Africa... 241 00:12:58,799 --> 00:13:00,767 send you back to America wherever they found you. 242 00:13:00,834 --> 00:13:02,768 - Oh, is that so? - That's right! 243 00:13:02,836 --> 00:13:06,704 Sisters, you are fighting over a man. You don't need that. 244 00:13:06,773 --> 00:13:11,039 - Remember, Eve stands alone. - Well, it's television. 245 00:13:11,111 --> 00:13:13,272 All right. Well. 246 00:13:13,347 --> 00:13:16,510 Now, all together, "Go on, girl." 247 00:13:16,583 --> 00:13:18,517 [Guests, Unenthusiastically] Go on, girl. 248 00:13:20,487 --> 00:13:23,581 Well, that's it today for Go On, Girl... 249 00:13:23,657 --> 00:13:26,148 the show by, for and about women. 250 00:13:26,226 --> 00:13:28,820 - Didn't you lose on Star Search? - That's it! 251 00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:31,625 [Overlapping Yelling] 252 00:13:37,961 --> 00:13:41,192 First of all, we must internalize... 253 00:13:41,264 --> 00:13:44,324 the "flatulation" of the matter... 254 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:50,168 by transmitting the effervescence of the "Indianisian" proximity... 255 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:53,573 in order to further segregate... 256 00:13:53,643 --> 00:13:57,238 the crux of my venereal infection. 257 00:13:57,313 --> 00:14:02,216 Now, if I may retain my liquids here for one moment... 258 00:14:02,285 --> 00:14:05,743 I'd like to continue the "redundance"... 259 00:14:05,822 --> 00:14:10,282 of my quote, unquote, "intestinal tract," you see... 260 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,727 because to preclude on the issue of world domination... 261 00:14:13,796 --> 00:14:16,128 would only circumvent... [Clears Throat] 262 00:14:16,199 --> 00:14:19,657 Excuse me, circumcise the revelation... 263 00:14:19,736 --> 00:14:23,194 that reflects the "Afro-disiatic" symptoms... 264 00:14:23,273 --> 00:14:27,767 which now perpetrates theJheri curls activation. 265 00:14:27,844 --> 00:14:32,178 See, so by the... Do not misinterpret the chauvinistic... 266 00:14:32,248 --> 00:14:35,240 [Man] Give to the United Negro Scholarship Fund. 267 00:14:35,318 --> 00:14:39,015 Because a mind is a terrible thing to develop without help. 268 00:14:39,088 --> 00:14:43,491 Allow me to expose my colon once again. 269 00:14:43,559 --> 00:14:48,121 The ramification inflicted on the incision... 270 00:14:48,197 --> 00:14:52,065 placed within the Fallopian cavities... 271 00:14:52,135 --> 00:14:54,603 serves to be holistic... 272 00:14:54,671 --> 00:14:57,970 taken from the Latin word "jalapeño." 273 00:15:07,483 --> 00:15:11,351 [Man] Coming this fall on Too-Too Ethnic. 274 00:15:11,421 --> 00:15:13,981 - Mm-mm-mm. Whoo-whee! - What? 275 00:15:14,057 --> 00:15:16,025 - Uh-huh. Mary! - [Scoffs] 276 00:15:16,092 --> 00:15:18,026 - Nu-uh, honey. Child. - Word. 277 00:15:18,094 --> 00:15:21,154 - Ooh! She's up. - Hush! Girl, I'll pull your 411. 278 00:15:21,230 --> 00:15:24,222 You need 911 at 227 24/7, 365, you hear me? 279 00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,894 - Oh! Be there! - Be there! 280 00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:29,631 [Man] This fall on FOX. 281 00:15:30,206 --> 00:15:33,437 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 282 00:15:39,215 --> 00:15:41,775 ♪♪ [Rapping] 283 00:15:56,165 --> 00:15:58,224 ♪♪ [Continues] 284 00:16:08,544 --> 00:16:10,478 - Hi, Mom. - Hi, Timmy. 285 00:16:10,546 --> 00:16:12,480 Where's Lassie? 286 00:16:12,548 --> 00:16:15,346 She's outside. I'll get her. 287 00:16:17,820 --> 00:16:20,152 - Lassie! - [Traffic Noises] 288 00:16:20,223 --> 00:16:23,920 Oh, Lassie! 289 00:16:23,993 --> 00:16:27,258 [Growling] 290 00:16:34,237 --> 00:16:36,364 [Barks] 291 00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:45,309 Mom, can Lassie and I go out and play? 292 00:16:45,381 --> 00:16:49,147 I don't think that's a good idea, Timmy. This just isn't a safe neighborhood. 293 00:16:49,218 --> 00:16:51,880 Don't worry, Mom. Lassie will protect me. 294 00:16:51,954 --> 00:16:55,685 After all, there's no breed of dog that's smarter, more loyal... 295 00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:57,692 or more protective than a pit bull. 296 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:03,289 You and Lassie are to play indoors and I won't hear another word about it, young man. 297 00:17:03,366 --> 00:17:07,666 - [Growls, Barks] - Mom, I think she's trying to tell us something. 298 00:17:07,737 --> 00:17:11,070 Well... Well, what is it, girl? There's danger? 299 00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:12,767 - [Barking] - What danger? 300 00:17:12,842 --> 00:17:15,276 From land? Fatherland? 301 00:17:15,344 --> 00:17:17,209 [Barks] 302 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:21,512 You think there would be some danger in the reunification of Germany? 303 00:17:21,584 --> 00:17:24,485 Oh, Lassie, I understand your concerns... 304 00:17:24,554 --> 00:17:29,287 but the political climate today is much different than it was 50 years ago. 305 00:17:29,358 --> 00:17:32,384 [Barking] 306 00:17:32,462 --> 00:17:36,694 Maybe we should stop lining Lassie's dog bed with U.S. News and World Report. 307 00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:38,825 I think you might be right, Timmy. 308 00:17:38,901 --> 00:17:41,461 - [Lassie Growling] - [Man] Hey, somebody get this dog off me.! 309 00:17:41,537 --> 00:17:47,305 Help.! Help.! [Screaming] 310 00:17:50,947 --> 00:17:53,279 What do you have there, girl? 311 00:17:54,317 --> 00:17:57,445 It's an arm. Somebody lost an arm. 312 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,114 It's a good thing you found it, Lassie. 313 00:18:00,189 --> 00:18:02,987 Maybe the owner will give us a reward. 314 00:18:03,059 --> 00:18:05,960 I'll just put it over here with the other arms, Timmy. 315 00:18:06,028 --> 00:18:07,962 [Lassie Barking] 316 00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:12,399 Listen, Mom. I think Lassie's trying to tell us something else. 317 00:18:12,468 --> 00:18:15,869 What's that, girl? Open the letter? 318 00:18:15,938 --> 00:18:18,168 Why... 319 00:18:18,241 --> 00:18:20,675 Oh, Timmy, it's an eviction notice. 320 00:18:20,743 --> 00:18:25,043 They're trying to throw us out of our home for harboring a dangerous animal. 321 00:18:25,114 --> 00:18:27,981 Now, what animal could they be referring to? 322 00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:32,714 That's it, Mom! That's what Lassie was trying to tell us. 323 00:18:32,788 --> 00:18:35,916 Not "fatherland," "landlord." 324 00:18:35,992 --> 00:18:40,122 See, we were in danger, and Lassie was helping us. 325 00:18:40,196 --> 00:18:43,632 - Come here, girl. Let me give you a big hug. - [Lassie Barking] 326 00:18:43,699 --> 00:18:46,327 - We owe you a lot. - [Growling] 327 00:18:46,402 --> 00:18:50,133 - Jeepers! We love you, Lassie. - We love you, Lassie. 328 00:19:02,552 --> 00:19:04,486 [Yells] 329 00:19:04,554 --> 00:19:07,352 [Man] Richard Pryor is back. 330 00:19:07,423 --> 00:19:12,417 [Mumbling, Indistinct] 331 00:19:12,495 --> 00:19:16,261 - Oh! - And this time he's more scared than ever. 332 00:19:16,332 --> 00:19:18,630 [Mumbling, Indistinct] 333 00:19:18,701 --> 00:19:20,692 Ooh, nasty. 334 00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:23,637 [Continues Mumbling, Groaning] 335 00:19:27,743 --> 00:19:30,303 [Screams] 336 00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:35,248 [Yelling, Indistinct] 337 00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:40,711 Richard Pryor is Scared For No Reason. 338 00:19:42,124 --> 00:19:45,958 ♪♪ [Hip-hop] 339 00:20:18,194 --> 00:20:23,632 ♪♪ [Continues] 340 00:20:29,739 --> 00:20:31,900 [Laughing, Chattering] 341 00:20:39,348 --> 00:20:42,146 It's really hot. I sure wish I could take a dip. 342 00:20:42,218 --> 00:20:45,312 - Well, why don't you? - Well, it's that time... 343 00:20:45,388 --> 00:20:47,447 and I'm not sure of my protection. 344 00:20:47,523 --> 00:20:51,357 Girlfriend, it's time you switched to a more absorbent brand. 345 00:20:51,427 --> 00:20:54,863 Here. Try these. Vortex II. 346 00:20:54,930 --> 00:20:56,921 I'm using them now. 347 00:20:56,999 --> 00:20:58,796 Hmm. 348 00:21:05,141 --> 00:21:08,770 [Suction Sound] 349 00:21:15,584 --> 00:21:18,382 [Wind Whistling] 350 00:21:23,025 --> 00:21:25,789 [Slurping Sound] 351 00:21:30,199 --> 00:21:34,192 Hey! Hey! 352 00:21:35,371 --> 00:21:38,204 [Woman] Vortex II. It's superabsorbent. 353 00:21:38,274 --> 00:21:41,141 Where'd the water go? 354 00:21:44,780 --> 00:21:46,839 All right. 355 00:21:52,488 --> 00:21:56,117 Thank you. Thank you for joining us. We hope you had a good time. 356 00:21:56,192 --> 00:21:58,126 Crystal, tell 'em what to do. 357 00:21:58,194 --> 00:22:01,163 Tune in next time. 358 00:22:01,230 --> 00:22:04,131 [Audience Whooping] 359 00:22:47,143 --> 00:22:50,874 ♪ You can do what you wanna do ♪ 360 00:22:50,946 --> 00:22:53,073 ♪ In living color♪♪